At the age of seventeen

Daughter you were nothing like me at the age of seventeen
Daughter you are a hybrid of the lovers I’ve known all my life you’re a new human being
And so everything you do is a cosmic catalyst
You are the equilibrium of space and us

You always ask me if I had a time machine
Would I change anything my lovers or my life
But destiny gave me you a universe beyond imagination

Daughter you are the circumstance of all the conspiring of forces beyond my control
You are the perpetual residual of myself
Through screams and cries tears and tears

From my body flesh of my own flesh
Soil of my own soil the earth let me create
Before I am dust and memory
Daughter of this I’m proud

-v.

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Yes everything has changed

And as I walk blindly I remember love always wins
I should have approached you with honesty
Instead I was in a depth of my own lightheartedness

I was being strong in my own softness
Confident in my own humility
I’m a pendulum swinging back and forth
Changing my mind as I go

I remember the way you picked apart oranges
You peeled the orange and pluck out the seeds
And remove the skin before you put it to your mouth

I feel like you’ve been plucking oranges all your life
With and without people by your side
I feel you’ve been plucking people all your life
With and without oranges by your side

I always feel I have to talk to keep away silence
I always feel I have to touch to keep away the violence

It’s like how I drink cold milk with honey in summer strange but comforting to lull me to sleep
It’s like the oranges and people you pick at with your fingers

There’s a comfort in our discomfort
A meaning in every silence
A subtext in touch that says
“Yes I know this, everything is changing once more .”

-v.

The moment of change is the only poem

And you woke up thinking
I’m going to be better for you
But that’s the problem
You only want to get better for someone else
Not yourself and I knew there was love
Love inside you that you never shared with yourself but gave freely to everyone else

And it was in this moment my heart ached for you
Suddenly I knew you like you were a part of me
I found myself sitting in your life
Not knowing if I could reach you
Then there was the pain
The thought of being a good person
Kept you going you never stopped trying

But you were tired
But you were trying
You were fighting battles I couldn’t conceive
And the rope of life felt slippery
And days felt like years to you
Certain that the world was done with you

And I hoped that you would make your way
I hoped some day you would find peace from the raging storm inside of you

-v.

I’m tired

The wind and the waves cause me to drown
The tiredness in me dragging me up to sink
Oh Lord you know I’m tired
The trees hold me up wearing my weight
The ground sinks beneath me
Oh Lord you know I’m tired

The tide pools in the end
The hurricane knows the order
Oh Lord you know I’m tired
The tight rope of life turns slippery
The days turn into years when I walk the earth
Oh Lord you know I’m tired

My My mind blurs with the red lights blue lights
My world is a stage fading fading fading
Oh Lord you know I’m tired
I fight for breath I cried for a voice
I screamed loudly screamed for a choice
Oh Lord you know I’m tired

I’m certain this world will lead me to
I’m certain the earth will lead me through
Oh Lord you know I’ll find it
It’s all I got is it enough
You know I’m fighting
Oh Lord I’m on my way
-v.

Venus

Dried flowers in the hot sun
Butterflies bending to the breeze
You’re always watching under a tree
Books of poetry that make up your anatomy

You’re skin is pavements and the world walks over you
Christening you the windows to the words of an angel
Arcadia of the saints willing to be martyrs
For love letters that are epiphany each time you speak

A canvas for the artist who controls you
A hole of earthly reproduction
But you’re not a ethereal being
You’re just a girl born sad and alive
You’re the binaries and boundaries of birth
-v

Outer body experience

In the silence of art came poetry
I’m having an outer body experience
And you sound like all the money in the world
All in one place

Your hands move over mine like a shadow
Guiding me from East to West North to South
Chasing an image chasing that feeling
Lyrical sound natural song

Blue skies and banisters
High end streets blurry faces
Tracing down all the spaces is you
Walking into the living room

Lethal lover cool in the summer
You really make me wonder
Filtered our lives like the news
-v.

Wild flowers

You’re one of the gods
Wilder and wilder like the colour blue
At night you sing songs about love and loss
You own the melodies of the muses

You don’t know where you’re going
You don’t know where you’re from
Your Arcadia is the endless road

And so you rise like a phoenix from the fire
Your holy halo of hair blinding you from a world so wicked

Run be free get away from this town
Of little minds and little hearts
Feel the urge to be alive and then live for eternity

Take over like wild flowers
Take off like wild fire
You smell like all the good ideas we’re afraid of

-v.

lord of the sun

Garlands flutter on the heads of promising youth
Mood rings aglow with ire
As they corner the outsider
“Within without the Sun you are not the chosen one.”
Mangled limbs and clawing fingers
Rip at the outsider’s clothing leaving him bare
They slid a knife gently on his face
“Sun god here is our offering to you give us clear blue skies.”
Clumps of his golden locks lay in their hands
The outsider begged for his life
Saying he knew of heaven and stars and ancient texts
The youths lifted him up to the sun
From where he came
And did he fly ?
Did he return from where he came
Or did he fall
Icarus did the Apollo hear your plea
-v.

Functioning Body

The peace of a pessimist
Is self doubt negative talk
The void of unsaid words
Narrative of wanting more so much more
The mind wants to be god
The body remembers that we are animals
And so we are at war with flesh and blood and bone
Complacent seat in the middle of life’s tragedy
A cruel ring of fire around your head
Wistful for the sun after a millennium of darkness
Trapped in the dunes you were born in
Barely breathing it was an early grave
Soil must return to the earth
Can we go back in time
Reveal the ruse of the body
Created to reflect and disconnect
Formed with the dichotomy of living and dying
-v.

Hellish human being

Cast a shadow on my doubts leave me breathless hopeless wanting more waiting for you I know you know me more than I know myself
Cut away from all the others invite me to your side breakaway the soft and inches take me home tonight
I lying on your bed waiting for the rapture give me the wine and bread softly softly please I’m barely awake yet
If you’re Hades I must be Persephone
And these are the gates of hell
You cost me my use my youth
Promise you’ll take me away
Do you know just what to do
My eyes they burn for you

-v.