The Human and Vegetable Experience

Something in your eyes causes my heart to ache
I see you fighting trying to stay longer
Are you tired can you make the last stretch

I see how difficult it is for you to breathe
I know you’re trying to find it
Even if it’s not today

You look worn and beaten by the world
You’re just waiting to be cut loose
I see the difficulty every time you look up

You can’t be contained you don’t retain warmth
You’re cold you’re so cold
I hold on to you for dear life
Trying to fight a losing battle

Your laboured breaths
Are like a chorus of angels
Waiting to ascend to heaven
But you always assured me:
“I’m not knocking on heaven’s doors yet.”

You’re made of the earth and one day you’ll return
And day by day I see you walking closer
Being lead slowly up heaven’s stairs

-v.

Are you a saint?
Show me how to be one too
Paint me into lilac heaven
Give me the primordial freckles and specks of angels
Are you a saint?
My tears are watermarks in the glistening sun
The halo over my head is marked with love
And the sword of Damocles
Gets closer as I grow older
Words are not my Saviour complex
They just fall like ripe apples out my mouth
Purged as sulphur
Said like a:
SAINT
SAINT
SAINT
A proverbial sinner
A euphoric state of existential vertigo
I’m asked no I’m expected to know
And bubbles grow from the inside
Transcendent hypocrisy spills from my lips
Are you a saint?

-v.

Lilac heaven
A bed of wildflowers set on fire
They chant Memento mori
As I wake
I couldn’t escape the silver spoon shoved down my throat
Visions from a crystal ball
Say I’ll burn forever never fading never ending
The sweet grapes on the vine
Remind me of how I write you a letter
And how you say you love me like God loves Adam
I cherry pick my days
Because I don’t have to be perfect just good
The magic that floods through my veins
Are the worlds that slip from my lips
And it’s like birth breathing for the first time
I shriek my lungs on fire I breathe it in
All the sorrows of life
My mantra is the same
“I’m a forest fire wild like the colour blue
I’m living on sheer will power so I can see right through you
And I like the other, was born to burn”
There’s a garden on the wall
Made of all my childhood memories
Mother Nature says it’s made for me

-v.

It’s your sweet freckles
I love them like God loves Adam
And for once apples are oranges
And cherry blossoms bloom on sycamore trees
Yes love beyond anatomy
Where bodies are casings and souls are true form
Because the storm is in me and the forest fires are in you
Sweet wildflowers bloom within our wake
Your finger prints like a diptych in my body
You are what makes me woman
As you grow little bird
Bird birdy my sweet songbird
I say as I will myself not to run into the crossroad
I see you everywhere on the faces of children
My ghost child
I feel hollow almost empty my sweet daughter
How you love me and how I loathe me
Accidents happen all the time
I say as I’m screaming underwater
But I love you you’re my daughter
Sweet and perfect now underwater
Slipped through my fingers
As I was sleeping
Go quietly as I sleep
And heaven has a perfect songbird
And I am without a bird in my nest

-v.

Daughter you were nothing like me at the age of seventeen
Daughter you are a hybrid of the lovers I’ve known all my life you’re a new human being
And so everything you do is a cosmic catalyst
You are the equilibrium of space and us

You always ask me if I had a time machine
Would I change anything my lovers or my life
But destiny gave me you a universe beyond imagination

Daughter you are the circumstance of all the conspiring of forces beyond my control
You are the perpetual residual of myself
Through screams and cries tears and tears

From my body flesh of my own flesh
Soil of my own soil the earth let me create
Before I am dust and memory
Daughter of this I’m proud

-v.

And as I walk blindly I remember love always wins
I should have approached you with honesty
Instead I was in a depth of my own lightheartedness

I was being strong in my own softness
Confident in my own humility
I’m a pendulum swinging back and forth
Changing my mind as I go

I remember the way you picked apart oranges
You peeled the orange and pluck out the seeds
And remove the skin before you put it to your mouth

I feel like you’ve been plucking oranges all your life
With and without people by your side
I feel you’ve been plucking people all your life
With and without oranges by your side

I always feel I have to talk to keep away silence
I always feel I have to touch to keep away the violence

It’s like how I drink cold milk with honey in summer strange but comforting to lull me to sleep
It’s like the oranges and people you pick at with your fingers

There’s a comfort in our discomfort
A meaning in every silence
A subtext in touch that says
“Yes I know this, everything is changing once more .”

-v.