The Human and Vegetable Experience

You’re a believer with a god complex
Your favourite thing to do is go out people watching
You love to grit your teeth when you have bad news
You step on toes as soon as you enter the room
You have an insatiable curiosity
You smell like clementines at sea
You think the stars align for you and you alone
Your friends want to be you
The world wants to know you
And I can’t help wanting to have you
You’re like a never ending summer
I still want to see you lose yourself in laughter
Or dance like nobody’s watching
Or sing it’ll be off key it’ll be messy
but it’ll be good
Sometimes I see us a little older
Two worlds apart
While the world is slow dancing
And I say something full of adult anagrams
Like your name just a little different
Instead of it sounding like an eternal stream
It sounds like forgotten memories
Instead of my eyes lighting up
like the magic of Christmas
They’re glazed over with the little hurts that accumulate over years
So why don’t you just leave why don’t you just go
And take your
Great and eternal love stories
Your strange peanut butter eating habits
Your eternal sunshine in my spotless mind
And go but before you do could I have my heart
Could I have my life my astronomical philosophy that I don’t need you to survive

-v.

You’re my Fuji film
Capture me
I’m a supernova
Softer than an angel
It’s crazy that it end in blood and war
Dreaming like Odette
I wish I could fly
I know if I tried
Well if I tried
It would be magical
Some curses are like that
But I’m not under a curse
Wings of onyx
Wings of pearls
Wings of diamonds
Wings of angels
Wings of birds
But I’m a swan
Yes I’m a swan
You’ll only see me floating
Forgetting that my legs kick to survive
Beautiful like a blade of grass
Here one day gone the next

-v.

Does it kill you when our song plays on the radio
As you drive your car in the middle of the night
Did the crescendo terrify you like my feelings did when I said I meant it
You never did me any good
You reduce every single thing I did into a problem , a not good enough

You use to have a butterfly collection
And every time I think about
I remember how you kill anything beautiful
You looked like a dream but heaven you were hell

The letters you write when you make a mistake remind me of my father full of empty promises
But that’s the thing with making someone out to be better than they are

So sit tight change the song like I already know you have and fight the memories the tears
Feel your hands shake your blood still
And tell me again
Does it kill you when our favourite song comes on the radio

-v.

I think I have it
You look like the birth of Venus
But it’s been years
You look like that iconic scene from American beauty
I wish I had you in my arms
Like we were Romeo and Juliet before they fell

It’s hilarious I’d think about it
We have little in common
But sometimes I swear we don’t have to speak
In the universe we’re cursed as star-crossed
But here’s the silver lining that’s how you know
You know what I mean that we’re meant to be

This is how we align
Like sacred geometry
You’re the flower of life laying on my bed
Patterned after creation

Love like yours is so fun
You’re soft as silk chiffon
You’re my favourite records when I turn them on

-v.

I can see you as an old man
Just the way you eat and talk
Like you know something no body knows

You swirl your hands and flip them as you speak as if you’re orchestrating the universe
The glint of excitement in your eyes
Is one of certainty in the most uncertainty

You have a faith no one can take away
And the piercing gaze of someone
Eager to learn and an unsuspecting curiosity for the world

Yes you the one I’ve taken note of
You have a smile so brilliant it feels like summer
Every movement you make is a rhythmic dance of thoughts and ideas human and alive

-v.

These are my grandmother’s words
I find myself searching for the hero inside me
However I can only address the dying
I colour in the poverty of broken crayons
Eyes immediately open I haven’t had the bravery
To close my eyes at the world and walk blindly
I have no moral compass no sense for the soul

These are my mother’s words in her time of darkness
I’m not a hero I am a solitary daughter
Leave me to paint to draw to place chalk on walls I carved up the earth to bend it to my will
I stare deeply into world as if it were a diamond
I am my moral compass and my convictions become me

I find that I am at peace searching for you
And here I am I’ll come to be a dying hero
With my colouring box I’m colouring the world
One eye closed as I shut up and I keep walking
And everything will come to an end
And yet I stand by my convictions
I find I’m still finding reasons to believe

-v.

A hundred years of pity
It’s the end of all feeling
You’re seeing illusions of angels and demons
Every time you leave the mirror

You see the tiger walk the city at night
She lines the woman’s back that you mark with love in the back of a motel
Where you swore you saw God
Or was it you swore you were god

I remember how the you hungered
Sun drops falling from your eyes
The way they stung

Give yourself to everyone
So you’re never alone
Hungry human god

I carry your kisses
Like scars after crucifixion
But you are and you’re not a melody
A humming I’d pay a 100 years to hear

How many times must I fold my eyes with tears
But we’re just children who want children
Asking ourselves if we’ll ever see snow

I scream the chorus of your life
Again and again and again
A hundred times over

But you don’t bleed you’re a Big god
You don’t lie unless you’re dying
Dying once again in heaven in hell in a motel

-v.

The tide pulls in the fragments of my shipwrecked mind wallowing in depths are my breaths

My mother use to sing to me
She didn’t know I dreamt of the future and it scared me

I remember the man who raised me
He was a wizard who lost his mind

My mind is a memory box
A glass maze I’ve written off as fragile
Perturbed by the past it halos in dark space as music celestial sound and I know I’m dreaming

I write about my childhood
I put to record my memory
I fly in the night in the day
An immortal symbol of inhumanity

But I was not always like this
It’s spring again and the yard is full of tiny flowers you use to call them weeds and you killed them all

But the stakes are the stake
And everything stays
Everything dies and begins again in a new life
Forever changing
-v

When I was little( I believed in magic)
I believed in (the infinite possibilities of) life
Nature and (her)snow carving out toy in flakes
My life (as beautiful as the paintings) of still lives
That hung in my mother’s studio

Her lines were defined and defiant
However (they were beautiful)
Each one (the only thing soft and uncertain)

Was me I was the shell she receded into like a snail
Her cocoon, teaching me was another opportunity to begin her life again

Artists from around the world called me either her muse or une partie d’elle -a part of her

I would go along to shows with her and
Fiercely hold her hand as if we could not be parted

We (co-existed )as one
No one could share our world
And to be (another ) human
Was to be (my mother and) me

-v.

You’re a lover you’re a leaver
Bless the sun when the floor falls beneath us
Light my love like a moth to the flame
It comes down like rain
It burns up like pyrotechnics
Illuminating the sky like the Fourth of July
My metamorphosis comes with time
Another Earth another life
Kiss the sun or at least the third rock from it
You see you’re like an open bracket like this:
( And I don’t know where you end or begin
But you’re so infinite you feel like what I imagine heaven tastes like and the existential
crimes of gaia making you is your silver stars on the flag you march with to freedom is it so you were there when great genius was birthed when the first chord was struck and I can hear it still…you’re beyond me you’re above me you’re alive inside be ricocheting and reverberating like the atoms I am can I even exist with out you?) No you see I cannot outside of your brackets I’m just a cosmic whisper to the universe

-v.