I feel deep down that I’m a kamikaze pilot
Or
a comet aimless and abundant in destruction
I wish the stars aligned for me
Like they do for all the strangers I’ve never been but wish I was

Oh but how they weigh in my bed
I’m the hanging man aren’t I
A fool running out of time

I hate the scabs on my knees
Can’t stand the blood in my cheeks
When I look at you smile
the compensating gap in your teeth

I should I’ve known ghosting was a graveyard
The haunting was a safeguard
Against the phantoms of my past
I should have known it wouldn’t last

I just want a sense of purpose in my life you know
A fixed point like a target I want it to be that simple

It’s grotesque how you like me
I’ll never understand it
I’m like your favourite book
Never a person always a chapter

I feel deep down this is how I am

-v.