Happiness came like my twenty first birthday
Make a wish blow out the candles
I closed my eyes when I made the wish
I wanted to feel it really feel it

I was young naïve to think it would stay
Every milestone was killing me
The unprecedented future

I started to resent the birthday like visits
It coexisted with my hamartia
Got intimate with my demons

Happiness use to clap at my recitals
Before I even played a note
Now I search for it in the crowd of faces

It’s the sea of strangers
I disappear into searching for that moment
I’m a very sad individual you know

So when happiness came like Christmas
I closed my eyes
It fascinated me like the first glimpse of living

Happiness taught me how to be a pretty crier
It was fleeting and beautiful but an awful liar
Eventually the meaning lost all congruency

I got a little older a whole lot sadder
Happiness didn’t visit or call
It became a stranger an anomaly

Maybe I just didn’t understand Happiness
Wild and free ,careless and innocent
I try not to love it you know high expectations kill

-v.